Kenyan Scientist in Scotland Leaves Career to Become Stay-at-Home Father

A Kenyan-born scientist based in Scotland has left his research career to become a full-time father, citing the impact of workplace pressures, grief and family responsibilities on his mental health.

Dr David Opar's decision marks a significant change in a life shaped by academic achievement and personal resilience. Raised in Nairobi's informal settlements and orphaned at the age of 16, he earned international scholarships that enabled him to pursue higher education abroad. 

He graduated with a Master's degree with Distinction from Newcastle University before completing a PhD in Nanochemistry in South Korea. Opar later built a successful career in Scotland, publishing research and contributing to development science. He and his wife, Sarah, a medical doctor, are parents to two young boys. While his professional life appeared successful, he said the demands of work and family gradually affected his wellbeing.

The challenges became more apparent after the birth of his first child. With only one week of paid paternity leave and no nearby family support, Opar found himself helping his wife through postpartum depression while managing work commitments. 

The pressure increased after both children started nursery, leading to frequent illnesses and repeated calls from caregivers that required immediate attention.

A major turning point came when his elder brother, Sam, died at the age of 39 from blood clots in the lungs. Opar had previously survived the same condition. 

He travelled to Kenya for the funeral but was granted only limited compassionate leave. Upon returning to work, he said a return-to-work form asking whether the situation was "likely to happen again" highlighted a lack of understanding of his circumstances.

Therapy later helped him address unresolved grief and long-held beliefs about masculinity and responsibility. As he reassessed his priorities, he requested a reduced working week. When the request was declined, he decided to resign.

"I wanted to be the person my children needed, not someone constantly absent because of work," he said.

Opar now cares for his sons full-time while his wife remains the family's main income earner. The family has adjusted to the change by reducing nursery costs and making lifestyle changes. Alongside his parenting responsibilities, he spends evenings developing a business venture called NurturNook and studying artificial intelligence.

Although he acknowledges that some people view men who stay at home as unsuccessful, he remains committed to his decision. "Whatever anyone says will not break me," he said.

His choice is also influenced by his family's history. Both of his parents died before the age of 45, while his brother died at 39. Now aged 37, Opar says he is conscious of how limited time can be.

"That gives me about eight years to see whether I can break that pattern," he said.